Cuz I'm the Shit

This is a good week. Can drive again. Went back home yesterday. The dogs are happy to be home. Finally got the promotion at work! Things are looking up. I'm excited. Yay. Having my BBQ this weekend. I have a lot to do. And a lot to look forward to.

So I'm thinking of writing a book. About dating. Kidding of course. I'm a horrible date. But I have learned some things along the way. Was married for 3 years. Had more than a few dates since then. It's pretty simple. As long as you don't get emotionally involved. Guys want one thing. No matter what they say. Even nice guys. It's the truth. I have seen it time and time again. It's not a bad thing. NOT a bad thing. It's just a fact of life. If a guy says otherwise, he's lying. Don't fall for it. You like him. You want to keep him around. Don't do it. He'll lose interest. Bottom line. And just when you think it's "safe" to do it. Wait a little longer. Don't be dumb girls. It's that simple. I promise. Do it too soon and you enter booty call territory. Which is cool. If that's what you want. Be smart. If you want to date them. Don't be a 7/11.

Who's the Bitch Now!?

It's Friday. Thank god. Hopefully next week will be better. Been dealing with jerks all week. Stupid customers. Condescending manager. Rude "friends". What ever happened to common courtesy? Is it that hard to not act like a total douche bag? Been adding more people to the NFB list everyday. Not going to put up with people who mistreat me. So don't try it. I'm better off without you :)

Wrote an angry poem today. Hadn't written one in years. So therapeutic. Would post it here but its inappropriate. Cruel. Mean. Vulgar. Hilarious. Genius. If you ask nicely, I might show you. Then we can point and laugh together.

Gonna start working out again. Get back in shape. Go to the gym. Take a dance class. Start walking the dogs more often. Take a self defense class. Should be good times. Perhaps I'll start this weekend..

You Are Sooo Cobravending

I hate the predictive text. Tried texting the word "condescending" the other day and ended up with "cobravending". Hmm. That's not even a real word. I'm gonna start using it. See how long it takes people to realize I'm using a made up word.

Thinking of changing my shift at work. Will lose money. Better hours. Better managers. More sanity. Tough decision. Money or sanity. I'm leaning towards sanity at this point.

Some people are so random. I just had a random guy approach me at work. He asked if anyone had told me how breathtaking I look today. Umm no sir, I don't believe so. Although I'm not opposed to people telling me more often. So feel free. Another guy calls me Ms. Vogue. I'm okay with that. I've been called worse things.

Rules. Are meant to be broken. I break my own rules. I make them. And break them. Sometimes on the same day. Breaking rules is fun. And sometimes dangerous. I get myself in interesting situations sometimes. Keeps life interesting :)

No Further Business Sucka!

Haven't written in awhile. Didn't have anything to write about. Now I do. NFB = No further business! Going to start NFB'ing people that piss me off. Or do me wrong. In fact, I've already started. You dont want to be on the NFB list. There's no turning back.

People can't be trusted. In general. Especially people who say they are nice. If someone is really nice, they don't say it. They act it. People who say they are nice are usually hiding something. Someone says they are nice. Big red flag. Run for the hills. Actions speak louder than words. If you are nice. Act nice. Don't get me wrong. I'm not nice either. But I also don't claim to be. 'Nuff said.

I've become a victim. In my own game. I've been victimized. Cracks me up. Pisses me off. Annoys me. Makes me feel devious. Learning experience. Moving on....

I used to write poems. Not nice romantic poems. Mean poems. Cruel poems. Very therapeutic. Think I'll start that again. And kickboxing. Get in shape. Kick some ass. Take some names.

Say What You Mean

People in general just annoy me. People put on a nice face. Play games. Tell you what you want to hear. Maybe they are trying to be nice. Maybe they are two faced. I think people are afraid to say the truth. I'm not. I say what I mean. And mean what I say. Some people say I'm blunt. Straightforward would be a more accurate word.

Went to the Lazy Dog Saloon last night. I like dive bars. Small crowds. Interesting people. Cheap drinks. Good music. Also a big fan of strip clubs. Naked people. Dancing. Shiny poles. Loud music. Who wouldn't have fun?

Will be starting school again shortly. Took the summer off. That's a first. I feel lazy. One more year for my MBA. Hopefully. Then law school. If I get in. Want to be done with school already!

Flirty, Not Dirty = FAIL

Went to sushi over the weekend. I hate sushi. I got chicken instead. Teriyaki chicken was good. Tried sake for the first time. Sake hot. Love it. It's my new favorite thing. Tastes good. Smooth going down. Strong. I highly reccomend it.

My yard looks like a serengetti. The grass is up to my knees. The weeds are 5 feet tall. It's dead. Not green. There's snakes hiding in there. Most likely. I don't know how to mow the lawn. Can't start the lawn mower. Can't manuever the lawn mower. This is becoming a problem. Somebody help me.

Planning a summer beach party. Should be good times. Maybe I'll get kiddie pools and fill them with water. Or Jello. Could do jello wrestling. I've always wanted to. Would make for a lively party. Feisty.

No Rest For The Wicked

Thank god it's Friday. Slowest week ever. Plus I'm tired. I could sleep for 2 days. Too much going out this week. Tonight I'm going to catch up on sleep. Take a day off. Be back at it tomorrow.

Thinking about getting a tattoo. Always said I wouldn't get one. I'm recently intrigued by tattoos. Men with tattoos. Women with tattos. Me with a tattoo? Maybe. Don't want it to look trashy. No tramp stamps. Maybe I'll get a cross. Or an Italian phrase. Somewhere covered. Gotta stay classy.

I like feisty people. Feisty. Even the word is fun. People with attitude. Men with attitude especially. Confidence. I have an attitude. Sometimes. Most of the time. I don't care. Deal with it. I'm feisty. I like to bite. And pull hair. Rawr.

Dumb Bunnies!

I hate most girls. Girls are annoying. Drama. Crazy. Illogical. Out of touch with reality. I'm not sure why they act that way. I am a girl and I still don't get it. The way girls act around guys is even more annoying. If he doesn't call, it's because he's not interested. Bottom line. End of story. It's not because he's scared. Or that he likes you too much. Just not interested. Duh. Move on. Don't stalk him. My friend Amy calls them "dumb bunnies". "Dumb bunny" is far too kind. Drunk girls annoy me even more. Falling all over. Being loud. Acting like hussies. If you can't handle your liquor - don't drink. It's that simple.

I have too many things to do. Five billion things on my to do list. I haven't done any of it. I'm slacking. I need to get on it. No motivation lately. Haven't done laundry in 2 weeks. Good thing I have a lot of clothes. Can't wait to go home. Get my life back in order. Less than 3 weeks!

Caffeine Withdrawal

I'm addicted to Rockstar Energy drinks. I haven't had one today. So tired. About to pass out at my desk. And I've only had one cup of coffee. I should probably tone down my caffeine intake. Not gonna happen. Rockstars and coffee is where it's at.

Finally joined the 21st century and bought a blackberry. 3 weeks ago. Still haven't figured it out. Don't know how to use the browser. No picture messages. No ringtones. Too complicated. Whatever happened to using the phone for talking. And texting. I love texting. Hate talking.

I'm going to start travelling. More often. So many places I want to go. I could make a list 10 pages long. Don't know where to go first. Think I'm going to do a volunteer trip for Habitat for Humanity. I'm looking into it. Would be cool to help somone. Also cool to travel. Off the beaten path. Maybe I'll go to India. Or Vietnam. Such a hard decision. Hmmmm. Choices choices.

Brandon McCool...

Brandon McCool is my new nickname. Not really. I had a customer ask me once if my name was Brandon. After he had already talked to me for 10 minutes. Hmm, never thought I had a manly voice. People from the Phillipines have a hard time saying my name too. They call me Mr. McCool. It's not that hard to pronounce. I promise.

I have a friend that reminds me of Borat. He's socially and culturally clueless. Today's his birthday. He wants to go get tattoos for his birthday. Think I'll pass on that. He would look horrible with a tattoo. He tried paying for his bar tab with a Nordstroms credit card one time. I can only handle him in small doses.

So I want to go whitewater rafting. And skydiving. Before the summer is over. The summer is going by so fast. Too bad I'm stuck at work all day. I need some excitement in my life. I'm open to suggestions...

I Was Robbed!

Ok, I'm lying. I wasn't really robbed. Well I kinda was. Robbed of a promotion that I'm qualified for. I'm annoyed. So annoyed. But not discouraged. I'll keep working hard. Prove that it would have been a better decision to choose me. I sound like a brat but I speak the truth.

I hate Richard Simmons. Not the exercise guy. This guy I know named Richard Simmons. He's ruining my life. I'm exaggerating. He is a beast though. A stubborn little beast. I despise him. My friends like him. They think he's funny. Not funny. Not cute. Not entertaining. Total jerk. I can't stand him.

I'm pissed that the Point After doesn't have karaoke anymore on Thursdays. Instead they have "local talent". Local talent can kiss my butt. My karaoke performance would sound better than that any day of the week. Maybe not. Stevey the bartender is a jackass. Wow, I'm grumpy today.

On a positive note, I can drive again in 3 weeks. Then I can finally go home. Home sweet home!

The Suspense is Killing Me!!!

So..I finally broke down and started a blog. It may or may not be interesting. I'm not making any promises...

I'm waiting to hear about a promotion at work. I hope they don't make me wait until Monday to find out. The suspense is killing me! I wanna know. So I can celebrate. Or wallow. Depending on whether or not I get the position. I think I have a decent chance. Management likes me. I have good work ethic. Knowledge. Experience. But stranger things have happened. So who knows. I will find out soon enough. Hopefully. I'll be frustrated if I don't get it. Really annoyed. I wanna know!!

Ughh, today is options expiration. In other words, I will be talking to more idiots than usual today at work. People should be required to take an IQ test before opening a brokerage account. On second thought, maybe not. We make all of our money off the stupid people. I've been increasingly annoyed with people lately. Annoyed that people with the intelligence of doorknob have more money than me. Trust fund babies. Or luck. Those are the only explanations.

Looking forward to this weekend. Time off work doesn't suck. I think I'll go dancing tonight. I love dancing. Hip hop. Salsa. Latin dancing is my favorite. Tomorrow is girls night. Lots of wine and food. I love wine. Wine makes me feisty. Should be good times!